Bridging the Gap
2. Victim/Creator (7:38)
Victim/Creator is fundamental to how we live our lives. Do we approach life from a creative point of view where we are aware of our environment and our own internal state so we can make better choices, or are we victims blaming others for our actions and reacting to situations without making choices.
Key Points
1. Use I language
- speak for yourself to increase clarity and ownership.
- I think ..., I feel..., I want...
2. Stay as much as you can in a creative position rather then
becoming a victim.
3. Become more aware of yourself (thoughts, feeling & wants) to
make better choices.
When I realize that I make choices in every aspect of my life, stress reduces, I’m more productive and happier because I’m in control my life. Remember motivation is in the creative process. Although, at times it may seem like I’m a victim, I always have a choice - even when it is one that I may not like. With awareness, I can choose to be angry, afraid, happy or sad. No longer can I say “You made me mad”. I may be influenced by what you said or did, but ultimately, my emotions are my choice just as my thoughts are.
References:
LIOS, The Leadership Institute of Seattle, founded by Bob Crosby in 1969, has a key ingredient built around self-differentiation in its consulting work and its MA program in the Applied Behavioral Sciences. LIOS director, Brenda Kerr, Dennis Minno (current faculty member), and Dr. Ron Short (former faculty member) developed these concepts and built training designs. They give credit to Dr. Edwin Friedman and his mentor, Dr. Murray Bowen, for their original ideas in this area. LIOS, 1450 114th Ave. SE, Suite 230, Bellevue, WA 98004. The author, along with Dr. Ron Short and John Scherer were the original faculty of the MA program, which began in 1973. The Crosbys are current faculty members.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
