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The Interpersonal Gap is an Interpersonal Communication Model by John Wallen.  The model describes the interpersonal communication process from the intent of person A as it passes through internal  filters where it is decoded into an action.  The Action (verbal and nonverbal behaviors) passes through person B’s internal filters where it is decoded (some form of thought -interpretations and judgments- which produces primarily an emotion).

                                             Key Points

         -  Intentions and Impacts are Private only know to persons A & B.     

            The Action is public.

         -  We only know people by our interpretations of their actions.

         -  Meanings are within people.  Meanings are not in words.  Our

             words are only translations of our intent (sometimes we get it

             wrong!).

         -  Because our judgments and interpretations come from our

             experience, they say more about us then they do about the

             person we’re judging.

The Interpersonal Gap is fundamental to how we communicate with others.  The more we are aware of our intentions and how we are impacted by the actions of others, the more opportunity we have to choose what thoughts, feelings and wants we will communicate to improve clarity and understanding in the relationship.

Reference:

Wallen, J. (1968). The Interpersonal Gap.  In Readings in communication skills. (2001).  Maple Valley, WA: School for Innovative Leadership.

LIOS, The Leadership Institute of Seattle, founded by Bob Crosby in 1969